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October 02 月结本来应该9 30写的.. 好的...伟大的祖国过上了伟大的60岁生日,伟大的主席像一个一个从伟大的天安门前开过..... 中华人民共和国很high。。。共党很high…..全国人民都很high……. 这是必须的。。。。。。。因为我们的high经历了痛苦的十年得以在某个巧合的30年之后解开 想想我们的爷爷的爷爷的爷爷的爷爷。。。。熬了多久??? 这可比国足更郁闷的说~~~ 好了。。。。既然是月结。。。。。 多雨的一个月。。。没有几天爽快的晴朗。。。。。 可是伟大的是。。。。我30天每天按时上课。。按时下课。。。认真听课。。。。这个太伟大了 这是一个里程碑。。一个伟大的转折点。。。 可惜~~~~~我的伟大的任务都命丧襁褓。。。。。。事与愿违的令人发指。。。。 无话可说。。。。。越发怀疑当初的改变是否是正确的。。。。 又或者本来就是错误的。。。。。。。。只是固执的走下去。。。。。。。。 上变下态=恋。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。 悲剧~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` 结论就是。。。。这是继往开来的一月。。。。这是浑浑噩噩的一月。。。。。 这是重拾大一快乐的一月。。。。。这是忘记那些白痴的一月。。。。。。。 这是International的一月 btw & fyi…….意大利男人真的帅。。。女人中也不乏britney这种级别的。。。。 不过他们的high水准绝对不是我等cinese可企及的。。。。 可以day day clubbing。。。可以交换。。。。。可以欺骗。。。。。 但是。。。。吊的是。。。。他们在正事。。我指学习，工作等等。。。有相当一部分的人 很有自己的想法。。而且也有相当一部分人很聪明。。。。。。 所以和他们在一起共度接下来的两年应该是满快乐的吧。。。。因为。。。。 我也很high…..并且力求更high。。。。。 end~~~~~ buona vacanza……buona festa~~~~~~~~ notte!!!!!!!! September 18 long live the kingim actually thinkin if i could really put sth serious down on this blog. forget that~~~~ MJ走了，全球缅怀，vma刚刚在nyc上空留下最后一道光，印象最深的 是麦姐的opening talk, 她和mj同年出生，同年进入演艺圈，有着同样多的孩子， 但今天站在舞台上的是她，而再也不会是mj了。 我想没有人可以像麦姐一样体会 一个巨星的快乐，痛苦，无奈，寂寞 麦姐回忆到她和mj一起eatout的情景时说，当她请求mj把墨镜摘下来想看看他的眼睛， mj缓缓摘下眼镜，将它扔出窗外，笑着说，现在你可以看到我的眼睛了吗？~~~~ 是的,巨星从不畏惧强光，正是强光见证了巨星的诞生，成长， 巅峰。 也从不畏惧舆论，因为在乎舆论和选择寂寞，巨星往往钟情于后者。 所谓的逃离狗仔的围追，也只是因为巨星既然选择了寂寞，就不会和别人分享它们。 整容失败，XXXX童事件，财务危机~~~这些如果发生在普通人身上再正常不过的事情 因为且仅因为是mj, 变成了scandal~~. 在这个本身已经没有对错的世界，又何必因为是巨星而去对他指手画脚呢？ god bless ya mj!!!!!!!! man in the mirror, long live the king！！！！ This is it~~~~~~~~~~ May 14 well~~~time to vomit sth outhey, everyone long time no see, and i dont know if i should use the " everyone" for the start cause it cant be a more true reality that no one bothers to come here to at least....er.....piss....haha
ok, with a tycoon game being downloaded, i got the time to vomit what i feel is needed....
these days.....oh wait,,,seems cant use day to count simply in that, i have been living in hell squeezing my head with a piece of what my mentor
conjectured is f important at the final stage in my entire 4 years college life.....what the hell does the graduate thesis mean to u my friend? apparently u cant take it as a assignment but a undertaking, a huge one that will do u forever good.and at least that is what my mentor hopes!!
well, forget that part......remember what~~~when a door shuts down, there is a window open for u, always, by god
And the window, im sure, is the graduation days drawin near. the reason i take it as a window out is that
when u spent one year having most joyful time as a freshguy at fudan
when u got diversion from what had been projected for urself and when it turned out to be not so good as it should
when u were rejected by morgan for whatever reasons and when u finally got the tickets for millan
when u keep reminding uself that the all 4 years was a mess with so much left undone and with those one or two stuff just like the most horrible nightmare probably through your whole lifetime
when u definitely know u were, are being and will be changing from what u have been supposed, to what u've resolved to be
when u understand that compensation would be of little use but unfortunately thats the thing u may live on in the next 2 years
and.... when u strongly feel that hope is ready
yes, 4 years may be a disgusting louse that i wanna get rid of immediately from momery. but still, that is ,indeed, an irreplaceably cherished treasure in my life voyage.
i was lucky to be put in 6-328 with the other five fabulous guys from totally different worlds of their own
i was honored to receive the unique tutorship in school of management
i was grateful that there are all the time some individuals, very nice individuals, who accompany me when i feel bored and lonely
i was blessed with my dad and mom supporting behind with heart and soul
and the one who bear my innocence for nearly 3 years
just during the 4 years , i got em all!!~~~~~
wait till the day we are dressed in the scholar suit~~~
January 03 The thingthe thing u once dreamed of, the thing that blurred the focus the thing u never take for granted, the thing that ditched every sense in vain the thing u can never get hold of, the thing that can’t easily fade away choice between right and wrong life between choice and surrender man between life and death everything never seems the way it’s supposed to the thing never coincides with what u frame it confession, still the hardest word…. December 30 new title after````Xmas 恩，to begin with, i blog nowhere but on space.
好，leehom 和 show 谁红，两人同在dec. 26th发片，hoho，谁的能大麦a?!小猪的女人卖相不知道能不能实现。
她应该还在睡觉~~~无聊，霸道，任性的ning阿。
the causal relations are not transparent.很早之前就有blog的想法，但是不知道timing如何，但是听了这几天"if u listen to the rhythm of the pouring rain"
来自leehom，
感觉冬天还是可以有春天的气质，因为我是淋过一场大雨后的晴朗！！！~~~
被morgan s. 鄙视仿佛是意料之中，又仿佛不曾发生，从笔试到最后的ac, 从几千分之一到八十分之一，骄傲来自于自己的幸运，悲伤出自自己的inept
看到某某的曲线救国的想法，很有道理啊，再想到pay the price for the way u go, 也很sanity, 但是曲线的尽头who knows? the price是how much?
去italy好像没有想象中的容易，这种项目被人戏谑为“pop the diploma”，但是话说回来，你在这读三年不是“bubble”那还会是什么？经验不足就要积累，毛主席说
没有调查就没有发言权~~~
好吧，我输在经验，输在词不达意，输在the way i go~~~~~
end nearing, i think of many friends to be grateful to.
curricula shrinking large, time running swift, heart getting nowhere to go
the only thing that i can utilize on is myself~~~~
sage's doctrine goes like "goal defines action, but action never leads right to the accomplishment of the goal. It can absolutely diverge unless u converge inside~~"
hum.........
我应该可以的，目标是可以实现的
告诉自己不要走太远
也忠告朋友们好好把握........
November 10 winter flicks in......Still, i don blog nowhere but here.
With its brisk wind and delicate whisper, winter flicks in as it used to be.
honestly i don quite get acquainted with that situation cause, to be a decent one, i resist to change.
well, upon the point of everybody spiraling finding where they belongs aftergraduation, I, seemingly not ready for any upcoming turnings, stumbles.
paper test of margan stanley is a lil subtle cause verbal part is still drawing me back and with additional part, computer checking, which requires completion of 40 lines within 20 minutes, I cannot feel better.
today, this time im writing is just a couple of hours ahead of the first interview with kpmg,advisory, em.....naked for nothing.
i hate it when the planned course diverges and most frustrated, it psychologically precludes me.
silence, peace, grace, diligence.................... July 17 ..............................有些使命总在前面挥手,不过自己目前还是不够那力挽狂澜的能力,所以,拼搏....
今天去见了老师,老师真的老了,更准确的是憔悴吧,自从事情发生之后这还是第一次去,之前一直充满了愧疚和不安,现在看过了老师,心里还是踏实了不少
在去她家之前,一直在想象见到时候的种种可能性场面,拥抱,说 老师,真的很想你,你受苦了啊,还有很多,但是都没有见到她的那一刻那么真实而震撼
头发向后盘起,挺直了的腰板,她是不是在故作精神告诉我们她已经没事了?这是不是掩饰?老师应该疲于掩饰了....
我一直都和她像这个世界上最好不过的师徒关系, 所以事情发生前去她家都表现得像活宝一样,可是唯独今天,恐怕真的从来没有过的沉默与无由的失落,看到她的时候完全静了下来,我不是一个爱如此安静的人......
我们没有提任何敏感的话题, 都在说自己和弟弟的事情,一个人座在她旁边从来没有的懊恼油然而生,为什么我没有把眼镜带上来,让我好好看看她的脸....
感觉有太多的话想说,可是在那一刻什么也想不到,就是被话题带着走,其实又能说什么,给予了我三年的无形的关怀一下子在脑海中浮现,现在才知道这些的意义,永远的美好回忆.....
这次让我很不解和由此产生的更为心焦的是两个人的家还是三个人时候的感觉,我进门后好好四周看了看有什么变化,什么大的变化都没有,可是一股冷冷的气息一下子把我怔住,少了一个人就少了一丝浅浅的温暖
看到母子二人和以前并没有什么情感上的变化,我在想如果,如果他们在某一刻,任何一个时候想到他,会怎样,我不敢想,我想这简直是令人窒息的,要一起生活一辈子的人..........不会轻易离开母子的周围
老师会不会每天都暗自流泪呢?应该会吧,虽然她在我眼中一直是个大女孩,乐观而坚强,想到这我又一阵心酸,这种只有在电视剧中出现的场景怎么可以发生在我最敬爱的人生上.....
她和我们说一切都过去了,都好了,人总要渡过这些难关,我们还是要继续像以前一样生活, 这对他是最大的慰藉......
上次去的时候他的形象仍然是那么清晰,感觉不曾离开,有时候人就悄然离开我们,这是一种怎样的感觉,我能接受吗?
但是事实是老师承受住了一切,弟弟承受住了一切,我想这一年来他们一定吃了太多苦,我扪心自问,这一年你都干了些什么,你能为老师做点什么??
谈话过程中一直有股哭得冲动,一种莫名的悲恸涌上来,老师真的太辛苦了,三年来对我们像母亲一样,现在又要以母亲的身份扛起比任何人都强烈的责任, 这样的苦谁能知????????????????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
老师加油,弟兄们也要努力,将来一定一定一定一定要为老师做些实际的事情, 现在想想涌泉相报并不夸张.....
走之前她拍拍我肩膀说,加加油,多和爸爸妈妈交流交流,知道吗,好简单,我记住了, 忽然又明白爸爸妈妈是我最最最最最最最最要珍惜的人, 他们给了你生命, 生命可以带走他们,但是你一定要做到让他们永远活在你的生命里........
走好....天上的人....
April 14 nosleepy now...
i just read those comments on my blog
jupiter said my words were too simple and .....naive
what the fuck.....why should i make it look profound??
ok ok let me tell u, i mnot good at writing english esp. for u to read....
but,i was alarmed that english is floatin outta me and i gotta get it fully back
i'm a lasy boy,i've got amibition but don't take the initiative,i wanna hold a sparkling life but don't fight for that
i am nothing but a kinda paradox
right now i got the chance to say something on the space and i wanna say idon't know what to say haha
time's flying fuck fast,and that really makes me upset
the time next year,what am i gonna be??i'm a lag
jupiter,try to comment this time,and remember make it look profound....... February 08 nobody,truly nobody nobody bothers to come to my space
why not update my space?why not?and, why?
i tried to put some in it but the damn internet failed me that night,that's annoying,really
lookin back on these vacation days,i felt totally out of reality
no assignment,no internship,no improvement
people at school may do amasing things which is ,than me,far more meaningful and good for their self-enhancement
i seemed to step farther and farther from the academic area and ambition
you may laff at me if i told u till now,just till now, resume ,the basic instrument is still in the air. what am i waiting for and
what am i sinking for
life is a box,whether it is white, red or black depends what u are about to paint it
&what it means to u is dependent on what u fill it
for me, the best choice is to put nothing in it
cause once u do that,the future is expectable and certainly tasteless
but that don't mean u may escape from sth like career,love
fuck,i was writing awkwardly.......
the linguistic stuff is poor now on me
anyway.like it goes:there must be sth that should be continued
what i am anticipating is to get myself on the life track,which is my only style full of pressure,persistance and
success.
effort is on the way
i am saying one thing: it's bound to be fuckin alright...
right now i wanna post it on,dont cheat me,bitch net
o.v.e.r August 19 又来....1.2007年你最开心的事情是什么？
这个我得想想......去西塘的那次
2.2007年你最难过的事情是什么？
真的还满多不开心,最难过的不记得了....
3.2007年最大的心愿是什么？ 万事顺利呀
4.如果现在可以让你随心所欲去旅行，你想去哪？ 丽江
5.你最满意自己身体哪个部位？与别人初次见面你会先注意他（她）哪个部位？ 眼睛 胸部(....)
6.失眠过吗？你用什么办法对抗失眠？ 好象有 没有的
7.会不会做饭？你希望你的伴侣会做饭吗?
不会 恩
8.你最想做哪个动画片角色？为什么？
NARUTO
9.如果可以重来，你最想改变的是什么？
要求不高,我的一切
10.觉得自己是个自恋的人么?
非常
11.爱人爱到怎样的程度才算是超过爱自己呢？
爱他到不去想自己够不够帅
12.谈谈你最近在听的音乐? BSB'S NEW SINGLES.
13.你相信有天长地久的爱情吗？ no
14.在你心中我是怎么样一个人？
好的没的说...和我始终有一拼...
15.你了解我么？我有做过什么对不住你的事吗？ 了解 你自己清楚的
16.目前有没有男（女）朋友？沒有的話有沒有喜歡的人？ 有
17.你理想的伴侣应该具备什么样的品质？
能够拉着我的手向前走...
18.你会出于什么样的理由结婚? 或者是出于什么样的理由单身？
BOTH:性(我想不出什么特别的理由) 19.如果现在你有自由权利可以杀掉一个人，你选谁，为什么？如果你现在可以随便KISS一个人，你选谁,为什么？
我自己 不知道 ST 不知道
20.和恋人分手了你会把对方的手机，MSN，QQ删掉么，如果删掉为什么？
看心情 August 16 完成了点名任务之后..... 终于知道在完成一件困难任务之后人好想休息的感觉
聊天要真诚,坦诚,没有保留才 爽
不多写了,拉一段歌词给我们这些在外远离父母的XINGXING学子
When I left home to be who I am
Some people said no way But I laid it all down Gave everything In my head rang the words That my father said You're never far I will be where you are And when you come to me I will open my arms (open my arms) Welcome home you I know you by name How do you do I shine because of you today So come and sit down Tell me how you are I know son, it's good just see your face When i look at you Holding my heart I will give to you all that I have Son I know there'll be times You'll feel all alone I'll share with you The words my father said You are never far I will be where you are And when you come to me You can bet I will open my arms Welcome home you I know you by name How do you do I shine because of you today So come and sit down Tell me how you are I know son, it's good just to see your face See I've been waiting for that day Just to feel your warm embrace Your love has shown That I will never be alone For you will welcome me home I'll forever be For you will say to me Welcome home you I know you by name How do you do I shine because of you today So come and sit down Tell me how you are I know son, it's good just to see your face When I left home to be who I am Some people said no way welcome home myself August 11 终于打开了这个界面....不容易....
前面写到的想CONTINUE的好象现在没什么想连载的了....
The essence of tourin is like that:
it escapes from the most gorgeous and return to plain
it doesn't calls for many people around but for the simple two
the simple two who could be hand in hand and heart with heart...
it made one from thoughtful to fool
it made u from the top of a certain world to the bottom
it made no sense but the only nothing that u would never get
it made u down to the true inside of u
to see who u are
to find yourself
and
all the essences converge in Xitang
there,i thought almost nothing when i strolled and floated
u know the kind of feeling that would make u nothing but a spot melted in the whole landscape?
and u know the kind of feelin just between the simple two?
i was obsessed
i was crushed
i was drowned......
August 10 耳边还是雨天。。。 这个时间上来写东西恐怕不会有几个人愿意做。。。。
四天后归来了，可是太晚，明天在写吧。。。。
One needs shelter when the inside's been flooded.
and he turns ahead,
wonderin' where....(to be continued) August 04 呵呵... 现在看到电视上这边死的那边伤的就特别伤感,忽然觉得很茫然...
我想我们活在这个世界上难道真的要经历这些吗,还是安安稳稳的过活比较好..
如果灾难降临到头上的话,也只好认了,和命运抗争---死路一条...
但是
我们仍然可以把生命之舵掌握在自己手里...
死或伤其实也是一种生活的方式...
恐惧也只能让死或伤更具悲剧性罢了...
谁会坦然接受死亡,而当这样的局面是如此突然且无法收拾时,挣扎的意义也许只是活着的
最后慰藉...
恩,接受与拒绝只是一念之间...
STILL,WE'VE GOTTA LET IT GO... July 27 还是想写点什么... I'm tutorin these days.it felt good when i "lectured" just like a best teacher of
all time,facin the kids.it reminded me of a kind of awareness of how to regard teachin
i made my points while the two kids and i were just involved in the interaction that i
would give them what i learned and more stressed how i learned.it seemed impossible
that i taught everything in the book and made their grades rocket high.but it's the way
and the experience i studied when i was grindin away at the lessons that really works.
i would be a assitant rather than a socalled teacher.it made me easy after all...
for wealth,for reputation,for love,for dream,we live through something in the world. July 26 来了。。。 今天又来了，看来更新的速度还是有保障的......
记得以前总喜欢用英语来写些有的没的东西.....以制造出一种"吊"的氛围....
好幼稚,如我为人处世一般...哼哼
机子待机过长会烧毁,人劳累过渡会崩溃,尤其在需要帮助却怎样也无法触及那双
援助之手的时候......
为了不让机子等太长时间,我来了,来些用中文堆积的有的没的东西.....
什么是有的没的,爱情?亲情?友谊?事业?理想?执着?好多...?
呵....以我看,有的没的是你的心.......
有种不能说的秘密,当思念成为一种病.....(打歌)
July 23 reform...... with思念是一种病being listened
这首歌很NICE。。。。
好久没有来这里写东西。。。。。
可是感觉好像真的没有人愿意来看我的东西。。。。
因为我太肤浅？？。。。。。
7，16，1又崩溃了，我知道这是我的错，所以I WANT IT BACK,ALL
最近强烈迷上所谓“校内”的东西，好像那个就是用来SHOW的，
而面对SPACE，还是好生看待吧。。。。
NINE-2-TEN-MONTH象是一场梦，可是仍然历历在目，恐怕真的很难忘记。。。。
中间发生了好多，我也体验了好多，我想用UNDERGOING来形容我的状态吧。。。。。
其实就是这些时间告诉我相处的本质，现在对自己以前对于one hand's love to one hand's career的不屑与运筹帷幄
感到羞愧，自己原来没那么神。。。（忽然想到INITIAL D里的话－－神也是人，只是他做了人做不到的事情
于是，他变成了 神）
GOD BLESS ME......AND US BOTH
崇尚坚持之道。。。。因此
无论怎样，仍然向前，作不一样的自己。。。。。
提醒我这里就应该写自己的，心里的，独特的，愿意和朋友分享的。。。
恩，你看到了吗。。。。
真的好需要支持和那份叫做携手的东西。。。。。 February 15 there's sth to be continued...valentine在一点一点小遗憾中结束了，耳边现在不知道是什么曲子，也不知道这个曲子的主人是谁，就在耳边听着，
然后若有所思地写着。。
看我MSN更新的速度就知道这里几乎成为荒地，因为没有人来看看嘛，不能怪别人哦，没人看你也要写啊，
不然怎么对得起自己那天兴奋的下了MSN搞了半天。。。。。
我在写什么，ZHOU这回不说CLEAN ATHLETIC SMILING 要改成farraginous confusing dark.....I KNOW IT'LL BE BETTER
好荒废啊，成就了一学期的辉煌GPA就这样在转系的硝烟中结束了，stuck in love?buried in love?anyway,love's what it is to me!
对她。。好像正常人都不会在SPACE上写些love affairs or stuff.what can i do right now when her shouts rip my vision and right here where i can't get hold of someone to feel her breath and heartbeats? i love her.valentine's gone hours ago and my love's here and there to stay...forgive me,my.love SHOUDN'T be so shallow
好像上来就是为了写她的。。。。不是吧，THERE'S STH TO BE CONTINUED。。。。。
不知道了，真的不知道在写什么了，JUST LET IT OUTTA U。。。。。
I don't know what i wander on and for....let it to be continued......
u know i'm saying?there must be sth to be continued.....when---
u can't see the road ahead
u can't get what u really wants from love,career(oh my,why i put this...)
u can hold yourself.
we laugh,we shout out,we cry,we crawl,we run,we still
there's
sth
to
be continued
one more,i don't know what i am talking ,but smells better than shit...... |
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